What does I healthy relationship look like? Here are 15 traits:
- Partners can manage conflict and differences without despair or threats.
- Both partners protect and nourish the relationship and make it a priority. (For example, they are not addicted to work.)
- Both partners know how to be responsible for their own needs and also for the care of the relationship.
- Both partners feel “special” to the other. Arguments or fights do not lead to abuse or threatened break-ups.
- Both partners can communicate wants, needs, feelings and emotional issues with little or no shame.
- There is unconditional love if not unconditional agreement.
- The relationship feels and is nurturing, comfortable and fun.
- Both partners attend to the needs of each other willingly and lovingly.
- The sexual relationship works well and is mutually satisfying.
- Both partners can and do keep agreements.
- Both partners are honest.
- There is no abuse: physical, verbal, emotional.
- Both partners have boundaries:
- Each person can say “no” to requests from the partner when necessary without feeling guilty and tell his/her partner when something feels not right or hurts them.
- People pleasing is kept to a minimum, and neither one feels like he/she is making a “great sacrifice” to stay in the relationship. They both are able to do their work, attend to their children and care for other aspects of their life without threatening the relationship.
- Partners can hear feedback from each other that they may be projecting old relationship fears onto the current one.
- There is commitment.
Source: Nancy Wesson, Ph.D. http://www.wespsych.com/relship.html